I’m not a good mom like you

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It had been a long day already and it was only 11:00.  I had already cried twice and wanted to run away.  Honestly, those feelings are pretty normal here.  Garner had asked to paint my toenails at least 10 times.  I had deflected that question each time.  Reality- I do not like messes.  I do not like chaos.  I do not like crazy.  (said the lady with 5 kids) A 5 year old painting my nails just feels like, messy crazy chaos.  But finally I was tired of deflecting so I said ok.  I lined the floor with paper towels, and braced myself.

She painted and painted.  When she was finished she proudly said “ok I am done!  Well, it looks a little messy, but don’t worry, it will dry pretty”  I looked down at my feet and suddenly remembered the times I had seen friends walking around with messy nails and proudly said “my daughter painted them”.  I kept trying to figure out how I could do it….  I just can’t!  Tomorrow its going to be 75 degrees and I want to wear sandals I thought to myself.

Guilt washed over me.  I knew I wanted to take off the nail polish.  But I knew how proud my sweet girl was.  But other moms just wear it.  UGH!  After a little while I realized that I could secretly repaint them, and let her think they dried pretty.  After all, that is what she thought any way.  This way I could have neat nails and skip the anxiety that messy nails would give me AND she would still be proud I let her paint my nails.

I am not a good mom like you, I am a good mom like me.  I have been a mom for almost 14 years (one week away!) and I am slowly but surely realizing this.  I may parent different.  I may do things you don’t do.  I may not be able to bring myself to wear the messy polish, but I am a good mom!  You may embrace the messy polish- you are a good mom too!  In a world where everyone is comparing and competing, we need to be offering ourselves more grace!  Guess what?  You are not a good mom like me, YOU are a good mom like YOU!

Can we embrace our differences and celebrate being good moms, period!? I mean seriously, mom, I love that you do it different and that it works!  I am so tired of feeling pressure and guilt to be a certain type of mom.  Life is way too short, raising kids passes too fast- to sit and waste time feeling guilty about how we are doing it!

Momma, you are doing a good job!  You are enough! You are just what your babies need!  (this reminder is really for me!)