So there are few things in life I have a hard time committing to. Shower curtains- I mean really, why are the cute ones so expensive? I feel like I have sticker shock every time I go to buy one. Do I really love this one? I mean it is $40 and I am not sure if it is $40 love. But yet, the”cheap” options are not really fabulous. This is why my kids lived with just the white plastic one for almost 3 years- yes, 3 years! Then there is furniture. I mean if you buy the cheap sofa, you may regret it every time you sit down to watch TV, but do you risk spending twice as much on the super comfy couch when you know you have 5 kids who will likely ruin it?
As I am thinking about this, I really do have issues committing to anything that is over $20. It isn’t just shower curtains and furniture. I just have a hard time spending money on things unless I really love them. I have made so many purchases in the past and regretted them a few weeks later and now I try to be more careful but this caution sometimes keeps me from making decisions on things I need to buy.
Months ago I went outside so find that one of my kids left the van door open. Our sweet golden doodle had been in the van. He ate several things that didn’t even matter but he actually ate my bible. Yep. When he is in our house we don’t really have any issues with him getting things he isn’t suppose to so I was shocked when I saw he had eaten my bible! I was so upset I didn’t have a bible any more. I have the app on my phone and still had access to it (thankfully) but I really like having the real thing.
Joel was like hey no big deal, just got pick out a new one. So I went over to Christian book store to buy one. Well, I got overwhelmed quick. What version do you want? Do you want a study bible? Do you want leather? Do you want your name on it? Do like pink? What about these fun bibles you can color in? I left the store without a bible. Why? Because they are over $20 and there are too many choices and I didn’t want to make a $50 choice I would regret!
So here we are, close to 8 months without my bible. I got a gift certificate for a bible for Christmas and decided it was time. I was going to get a bible! We walked in the store and the clerk immediately said “Can we help you find something?” I said “oh that is ok, I am just looking for a new bible and not sure what I want exactly so I will just look” He quickly replied “There are only a million options and you have 17 minutes before we close, please let me help you”
Here we go again…. What version, what color…… Before I knew it I was overwhelmed and ready to walk out the door- especially knowing that I now only had 15 minutes AND the store clerk was standing over my shoulder waiting on me to make a choice. After browsing the study bibles, large print, ESV, NLT, pink, brown, blue, bibles, I said “What about those fancy bibles where you can draw and color, where are those?” In my head I am so artistic and thought surely that is what I need. I was excited to see that a lot of the options had templets. It was like an adult coloring book on the side of each page which was really nice since I can’t draw. But then Joel hands me the most beautiful bible I have ever seen. It wasn’t the fun adult coloring book version but I quickly concluded that buying a bible I was suppose to make pretty was probably one more thing I’d add to my list of things that make me feel like I am failing at because the reality is I want to be artistic- but I am really not so it would end up feeling like work to me.
So here I am, with my new pretty bible, more excited than ever to dive into The Word. This entire bible buying experience has me thinking about how often I find myself feeling overwhelmed with all the choices life has to offer. I want so badly to always do the right thing so I sit around overthinking and a lot of times, not ever making a choice or taking the next step because I am too afraid of doing the wrong thing. When the entire time, God is patiently waiting on me. He is saying “those details aren’t as important as you are making them out to be. Just go, just do it, I am already there.” Fear of failure can hold us back from doing all the things God has in store for us. What are you letting fear keep you from today?
I don’t think it mattered which version or what style bible I picked out, but I let those details keep me from making the purchase for months. Sometimes I think we complicate God’s calling for our lives. He calls us to love Him and to love others. He asks us to go and make disciples. Instead of stressing about all the details, I want to let everyday be an opportunity to do just that, wherever I go, whoever I meet, whatever platform I am given- Love God, Love People, Make Disciples.